Everyone knows crystals align our spiritual energies, predict the future, and offer us an odour-free life normally only associated with the smorgasbord of aromatic sprays we are regaled to use to cover our pungentry.
But apparently some sceptics are under the impression that crystals are not good for such practical, humanitarian purposes.
These so called ‘crystallographers’ claim crystals have no magical properties at all. Yeah, like we’d fall for that…
Clearly this is a conspiracy of magicians designed to keep us in the dark and drum up business. Cos if they aren’t magical, what good are crystals other than for making jewellery for people who are too cheap to buy diamonds?
In the spirit of investigative journalism that has come to define ScomBomb, we are going straight to the source of these lies. We talk with Professor Jenny Martin, a scholar who has won more awards, prestige and money from this ‘crystallography’ scheme that any other person in Australia.
Hell, she’s already warned us there’s some kind of ‘international year of crystallography’ going on around us right now: the conspiracy goes all the way to the top.
Join us this week as we don our pointy wizard hats, light our skull candles, and challenge Jenny to defend the obvious truth we once saw on a hippy’s T-shirt: ‘magic is the stuff science hasn’t made boring yet’.